I went to sleep at 11:15pm last night and didn’t get up until 8am this morning.

That’s a bad thing. Well, not usually, but it was last night.

I’m attempting the Uberman Sleep Schedule.

It’s pretty simple: You sleep 3 hours a day, broken up into 20-30 minute naps every 4 hours.

You are up 21 hours a day, instead of 14-16 depending on how long you sleep. This requires a 30 minute nap on my part for the following schedule:

• 3:15am
• 7:15am
• 11:15am
• 3:15pm
• 7:15pm
• 11:15pm

Granted, I had to re-adjust certain times on days when I can’t fill those times, but I designed a schedule that should work for me.

WHY?

The brain apparently only gets 30 minutes of pure REM sleep (the deepest sleep that relaxes and refreshes the body) in an 8 hour sleep cycle. What this does after 2-3 weeks is train your brain so that the minute you hit your pillow for a 20-30 minute nap, you immediately get that REM sleep, instead of having to go through 7 hours and 30 minutes of bullshit to get there. I’ve read blogs supporting and denying this theory, nonetheless, I don’t care. It sounds cool.

I have no idea why I am attempting it to be honest. It’s like trying to be a vegetarian for a few weeks, or trying yoga, or KONY 2012 etc. It’s something I heard of that peaked my interest and I wanna see if I have the chops for it.

I Don’t Have the Chops For It.

So, I attempted to start this last night. I got off work at 7pm and proceeded to take my first nap at 7:15pm, right on time. My body wasn’t tired, and all I did was lay there for 30 grueling minutes asking myself why I want to attempt this?

At 11:15 I did my next 30 minute nap…and woke up at 8am.

I failed in my second attempt. It only took me 4 hours to fail. This pissed me off.

The first thing I instantly realized is that I am going to need a to-do list. The moment you don’t have something to do you instantly want to sleep. I have compiled a list and am curious to see how this will work out.  So far it includes things like-

• writing more. Blog and screenplays.
• cleaning
• studying
• gently working out at my 24 hour gym. (Too hard of exercise the first week will screw you up apparently.)
• watching TV shows I’ve never had a chance to see (taking recommendations.)
• Listening to audio/kindle books.
• etc.

It’s apparently 99.9% impossible to get passed that first week. I have read 100+ blogs about people who kept daily, weekly and monthly updates about it and they all say the initial phase is grueling.

I don’t expect to make it. However, I’m expecting to try 110%.

The boredom is one of the hardest things apparently to overcome and if you don’t have a plan you are doomed to fail from the start.

I made over 30+ alarms in my phone so that for every nap I have scheduled I can be woken up 30 minutes later. Most people do 2 hours a day of naps with 6-20 minute naps. However, I have chosen to use training wheels and do 6-30 minute ones for a total of 3 hours sleep a day.

I’m getting tired of trying new things and failing.

This seems like an interesting (not good, however) conversation starter and I would love to see the longtime benefits, or at least a month.

The benefits of this supposedly happen after 2 weeks. After that I have read countless entries about people saying they wake up after each nap fully refreshed and not groggy.

Now-

I was going to attempt this for a month, document my findings and write it in a blog. However, after last night’s failure, I have decided to do the sink-or-swim method. The theory where you scream out, “Hey, I’m trying this everyone!” and hopefully knowing that eyes are watching, will push me through and accomplish it in order to avoid embarrassment and shame.

I don’t want to write an ‘I failed’ blog.

This may be my only entry on it. I haven’t had my curiosity peaked this much over something in a long time. I feel like it’s learning to ride a unicycle, or juggle more than 3 items, do a back-flip, or just succeeding in life. All those sound like kick ass things to do. Maybe I can learn some of those in my new-found free time.

I know this opens me up to a world of insult, and I completely deserve it unless I accomplish it. I just want to be able to answer people’s queries if I do accomplish it-

Do you feel better?

Can you drink while doing it?

What do you do to fill your free time?

Admit it, you just masturbate all the time, huh?

Have you gained/lost weight?

Food cravings?

Have you skipped a nap? How does that feel?

I hate you, Steve. I just hate you. That is all.

Etc.

I really just want to try something out of the norm and succeed on it. However, lack of sleep is a fucked up way to find my inner Zooey Dechanel.

So if you’re up, pretty much anytime, send me a message, keep me going. I got 21 hours a day…

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for a nap.